07 January 2008

Story,Confession, Fear, Harumph, Delight

1. A Story
I heard some extra-sad news this weekend from a good friend who really, really wants to have a baby.

I laid down with Bird for her bedtime and stroked her cheeks and explained to her how lucky I feel to be her mama, and what a miracle it is that there is even life at all, knowing what my friend has been through. I told her how special she is and how I never knew how badly I wanted this little family until she was here, and how my heart is truly aching for my friend now that I know so well exactly what it is she's after.

And Bird reached over and stroked my cheek everso gently and said, "I don't spit on you, mama."

2. A Confession
I think I may have worn a shirt that is too low-cut for the workplace. And I think I got dressed in a hurry: the shirt and the pants? Not even from the same family. And? I didn't wash it after wearing it to A's Mamaw's Christmas. I thought it smelled okay this morning. I was kind of wrong.

3. A Fear
While in Indiana for the Ten Longest Days, I had much opportunity (though in short bursts-- but I did get in a VERY nice, VERY long walk all by myself) to think and ponder and weigh options and I have made a decision on the job front and on a larger scale, the Career front. Though now I am a leeetle afraid that things may not be as much up to me as I had once thought.

4. A Harumph
I dreaded coming in to work today. And not just because it was dark when I woke up or because my bed was warm and my child needed extra attention. And not just because it's going to be a spooky 70 degrees in my city today and I ate about ninety pounds of A.L.'s tator tot casserole last night that need to be walked off. I dreaded coming in because I JUST DON'T LIKE IT HERE ANYMORE.

5. A Delight
I made homemade bread over the course of the last two days. I made the bread to go with the Minestrone, but instead of making the minestrone, I made the bread. Time was limited. Bread seemed most important.

And do you know what I'd forgotten about? Italian dressing in the packet, the kind you mix with olive oil and vinegar, without all the high fructose crap. Delish with a green salad + chickpeas and the afforementioned homemade bread. Best part of my day so far.

1 comment:

Constance said...

What a sad story. It's so very unfair that fertility is not spreaad around more evenly--that some people have baby after baby, and others have sadness after sadness.